As a new parent or a parent to be, everyone is telling you how it would be worth it. They continue to tell you about the adventures that parenthood becomes, about how alive and sapped it makes you go – all in the same breath. They also tell you that life would never be the same. And they are almost, always right. Except for one thing. They never tell you how lonely it gets. For a new mother.
Looking after a new born is a journey in loneliness. It disconnects you from the rest of the world. Going out is a luxury. Your friends and you are living on opposite ends of the spectrum. You might have your own health issues going on. Mentally you are on another plane compared to any other members of your family, however well meaning.
Many of us leave our jobs, our social lives, our travels and a lot more to become parents of our little bundle. Having a baby is a blessing, but managing the personal alone time that comes with it? Not so much.
It would help if there were more honest renditions of what motherhood is like. When women can tell other women that it is okay. That is is a phase. And that your life, just like your body, will get back to normalcy.
In the first year of being mum to a new baby, I have found my own list on how to stay positive and make best use of our time.
Learn That New Thing
Allocate your free time, however little it may be to stuff you always wanted to get done. Learn to cook better, read more, pamper your body, exercise, home improvement or whatever your deal is. Whatever it is, take time to do it. This is that time in your life when you can take up anything you want to.
Planning For The Future
Know that it is temporary. Work out a Plan A. It could be on how to get back to work or how to get your body back in shape.
Learn about child care options in your vicinity. So when needed you can use that too.
Catching Up With Friends
Take time out to meet friends when you can. It is now that you realize how wonderful it is to be catching up with old friends.
Choose Your Company Wisely
Stay away from the military mom brigade who sings sorry songs on how you must now devote your entire life to child rearing now that your own identity is a thing of the past.
Get it from family and friends or professionals. Ask your spouse to be more involved if needed.
Don’t Give Up
Lastly, never give up on your dreams.
Just a little bit of me time can help us mums love our children a whole lot more.