As embarrassing as it may be, a salient feature of parenting is yelling at your kids sometime or the other. While we would never want to yell or get annoyed at our wee ones, sometimes we end up doing exactly that. To face the facts, toddlers are a quite a handful. They have their own curious minds and are often ‘repeat offenders’ 😁
However researches have pointed out that yelling has a bad effect on kids, so much so that it is comparable to hitting them! Its then rudimentary that we be easy on ourselves and focus on creating positive communication and avoid certain phrases with them.
#1 You are a bad girl/boy.
Declaring that your child is ‘bad’ is not going to reinforce any positives rather it will put a stamp on them being inherently bad. Instead, tell them that they did
a bad thing this one time and that it is not expected of them.
#2 You are fat!
A child suffering from obesity can change if as a parent you bring about changes in his or her natural lifestyle. Coaxing them to go play ball when they are reading a book will not help. Bringing about nutritional changes in their diet or gifting them a cycle is your job. It is you who needs to start right.
#3 Boys Don’t Cry
This one is a awful case of parenting going wrong. There is no human being on Earth who doesn’t cry once in a while. Crying helps you calm down when you are overwhelmed. It is nature’s way of gathering your emotions whether in disappointment or grief. A little crying makes us normal, boy or girl.
#4 Stop Being a Baby
Well, they cannot really follow this one because guess what? They are babies, your babies! Expecting kids to act like adults is only going to leave both of you disappointed. Never ridicule them for asking child like questions. Once they grow up you are going to miss their childhood years.
#5 I had to Sacrifice Because of You
No! Your child is not responsible for your sacrifices. They did not chose to be your kids, you chose ( or may be not) to have them. You are the adult and it is your duty to protect them, feed them and cloth them.
#6 You are Somebody’s amanat (property)!
If you are blessed with a girl and you tell them that they are not yours forever and that they are someone else’s to keep till that someone finds them is the single most abhorrent thing that you can say as a parent. You probably are not okay to be a parent and raise a child in that case. Period.
#7 Your Mom/Dad is not a Nice Person
A child is an extension of her parents. Belittling her father or mother (your spouse) is going to make her feel miserable about her own self. It will also make her feel that her family is in a bad shape. That’s not the kind of childhood memories you want to give her. Even if there are issues between parents, they should be mentioned as they are. Name calling or blaming in front of kids is never going to have a healthy impact on their lives. Your child should always see her parents as a team that is always together when it comes to their children.
I am sure there are scores of other things you should never say to your child. Feel free to comment about some of them in your community.